Today’s weekly writing was inspired by a recent post by Alex Elle, titled “the older I get, the less I…”. I am forever grateful for this human’s words and gentle reminders to care for myself, carefully and deeply. Read her reflection below.
The older I get, the more I recognize my need to make space. My nervous system, my relationship, my home, my schedule all need space for me to be a healthy and productive person in society. And the reality is — space will not be there unless I put it there.
I am learning lately to MAKE SPACE because if I don’t, no one else will. Or my body will for me, because I may very well work myself so hard I get sick and bedridden (it’s happened before, I know).
To breathe, to write, to connect, to contribute, I must make space for what I need. Not just empty grey space, but space for what fills me - fuels me. I like to think of this process like cleaning out a room.
When I was little (Mom, you know too well) I would be struck with these sudden, insuppressible urges to deep clean my room. I’d spend months letting it get cluttered with piles of clothes and funky erasers from the book fair and Britney Spears CD’s…until one day out of nowhere I would open my door and decide it’s time. Then, I’d spend an entire Saturday going through everything — my junk drawers, my clothes, underneath my bed — clearing out and organizing all that I owned within four little purple-painted walls. I would finish feeling so proud! So full! So clear both physically and mentally. I listened to my intuition and made space for more of what nourished me in whatever season of life I was in at the time, whether it be choreographing my next music video to Kelly Clarkson’s Breakaway to just having space to walk from my door to my bed. Even little Rachel knew when it was time.
I’ve been feeling that urge again, to go through everything for a deep clearing and making of space for nourishment. Except, now, it looks like a bit more than just my bedroom. I am taking a deeper look at my mental health after scrolling on Instagram, how much water I’ve had when a headache comes on, and my impact on the planet and other people when I buy a new top online. It is a lot to think about, which is why I am giving myself grace and taking it slowly — like sipping a coffee and holding it in your mouth just to take note of all the (good and maybe not so good) flavors.
As we get older, it can be easy to let clutter happen in all areas of our lives: our homes, our cars, our time, who we follow online, who we hang out with, how we spend money and how we spend our time. It can all get cluttered so fast and so easily if we let it. So every now and then, I like to re-evaluate. It is a practice that reminds me of something I learned when I was studying to become a counselor, called the Wellness Wheel.
Talkspace describes the wellness wheel as “a visual tool that shows each category of wellness on a wheel. It gives people the opportunity to hone in on their wellness by identifying areas in their life they may have neglected and seek to improve. Since all of the dimensions are interconnected, an imbalance in one area of the wellness wheel might restrict you from reaching peak wellbeing. It’s important to remember that wellness is not only important for your physical and mental health, but for all aspects of your life. By working through each area of the wellness wheel, you will be able to enhance your overall quality life, improve your health, and focus on reaching your full potential.”
While I’ve also been releasing the idea of “reaching my full potential” (there is so much goodness in learning to be with and appreciate what is), I find this wheel valuable. It gives us the opportunity to give ourselves an honest evaluation on what is going well, and what we might want to work on in the grand scheme of our lives. For me, it’s looking a little something like:
less time on social media (and on my phone in general)
waking up earlier to gift myself slower mornings
boundaries on my availability based on what I have energy for (vs. what I think I should show up for)
learning about our world’s broken systems and unlearning the conditioning of my own participation in it
researching topics that excite me (it feels so good to learn truth, it brings passion back into my existence in the world)
wholesome, quality consumption (food, social media, film, books, clothing, etc)
simplifying my material belongings & cleaning my home with love
getting creative with our lifestyle to find what best supports our wellbeing (vs. following the rather traditional path - it just doesn’t suit us. We are learning to be okay with exploring what we can do instead)
I’m no hardcore minimalist or a straight edge anti-social media consumer, but I do care deeply now about the content (of all kinds) that I allow into my life. Like the wellness wheel, I believe everything is connected to everything.
I am still working on it, and I do feel strongly that working hard to reach our full potential can be just as draining and addicting as climbing the corporate ladder for endless status and wealth can be. So I am cautious to share this, on that front. I want to note with sincerity that, wherever you are in life, is right where you need to be. Growth can be a beautiful journey and at the same time, it can be a haunting pattern of never feeling enough — and I hope you can rest in the truth that you are enough, here and now.
May we move forward in caring for ourselves not because we believe it will get us to the next level or whatever the crap they tell you. May we care for ourselves intuitively and because it serves us.
Make space as needed, my friends.
Some pics and snippets that are nourishing me lately:
Much love,
Rach 🌿